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Guys, your success is hanging on by a hair

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POSTED June 21, 2014 1:17 a.m.

My dad was always very proud of his raven black hair and raven black mustache. When his 40th birthday rolled around, the first gray hair appeared. But he didn’t get discouraged by the obvious sign of aging. He simply got his hair and mustache colored the darkest shade of black during his regular hair trim every month. He turned 60 this February and he looks as good as always, with only few people knowing his secret. 

Women can play with makeup, hair color, and different hair styles to change their looks to their taste. Men, not so much. So whatever grows from the neck up is a fair game to be grown, trimmed, colored, polished, cut, shaved and styled. 

A couple of weeks ago I met a gentleman from the South who was sporting a perfect bushy mutton chops. I had no idea that those things were still in fashion, because last time I checked, Frank Kennedy took them to his grave when he died in “Gone with the Wind.” That got me thinking, what would Clark Gable be without his seductive ‘stache? I Googled it and quickly closed my browser – young, shaved Clark Gable looks unfinished. I prefer him with hair, and so did all his female fans back in the day. Unsurprisingly, his big break came after he grew his trademark thin mustache. 

Facial hair seems to be a clear way to success. Austrian singer Conchita Wurst won this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. She is every man’s dream with her long luscious locks, smoky eye makeup and revealing dresses – every man’s dream until they notice her prominent facial hair. She would pass for a skinnier version of Kim Kardashian if Kim Kardashian decided to grow facial hair. But since Conchita was born a man, she has the privilege of proudly sporting her facial hair even though she is performing as a member of the opposite gender. 

Not even presidents are immune to the allure of facial hair. Just recently I learned (to my amusement) that Abraham Lincoln grew a beard because a female fan suggested he would look better with one. “All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President,” wrote 11-year old Grace Bedell in 1860. He might have been on his way to become the most powerful man in America, but he was not immune to a compliment. Couple of months later, he was inaugurated with full chinstrap beard. Successful has 10 letters, and so does facial hair.  

But the creativity doesn’t end there. As much as the right facial hair can make or break a man, many British blokes are crafting their whole career on their signature haircut. Where would be Hugh Grant without his floppy hair, Harry Styles without his charming curls and Robert Pattinson without his lion’s mane? David Beckham paved his way to world-wide fame not only with his football skills, but also with the willingness to experiment with his hair. His long hair first received a set of highlights and later a healthy dose of bleach. He shaved his head and grew a mohawk – probably the first man ever who was able to convince the world that this is actually a mainstream haircut. Then he got a full head of cornrows, blond ponytail, another set of highlights, full beard and about 20 other styles and cuts. The ever changing chameleon proves that being a man doesn’t mean being boring.

But when some athletes say hair, they mean business. Case in point – Troy Polamalu, aka the football player with THE hair (that made me hate him for the entire time his Head & Shoulders commercial was on air in 2013). How come his hair is so long, curly, bouncy and healthy? Troy was probably wondering the same thing, because he insured his famous mane for $1 million. An average woman will probably have to spend the same amount of money to get his look. Not fair.

It doesn’t matter if you are a president, actor or an average Joe; chances are you are proud of your hair. It may grow under your nose, on your chin or on the top of your head, but it’s still your prized possession. So embrace it, because we women notice, and respect it. Ultimately, it’s the only thing you have. 

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