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Rocky the tranny squirrel

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POSTED July 31, 2017 1:05 a.m.

Editor, Manteca Bulletin,

Thank you for your editorial Saturday concerning Rocky the Flying Squirrel and the ‘transgenders’.  Before reading your column, it never dawned on me as a child, sitting in front of the family’s black and white TV in my PJs while watching Rocky and Bullwinkle, that my innocent young mind was being twisted and manipulated to accept the idea that at some point in the future, members of our armed forces would be forced to shower with persons sporting, as you put it ‘the wrong plumbing’, in battle theaters across the globe. I just never made that connection. Perhaps I was too young.

I must admit though to being slightly confused by the premise since Rocky, like Porky Pig and Mickey Mouse, never appeared to be wearing pants and for all intents and purposes was plumbing free, so we will never know for sure which category his (or her) ‘plumbing’ fell (or didn’t fall) into. It is possible that Rocky, rather than transgender, was a female squirrel, lesbian and slightly butch. Or he may have been a gay squirrel with a high voice, or a straight actor wearing an extremely tight fitting undergarment beneath that squirrel suit which would account for his soprano voice type.

I suppose we shall never know for sure what Rocky’s sexual proclivities were and how he identified him/herself, but we can all agree that he was a wonderful actor with incredible range and depth for a two dimensional figure. It’s a shame that he drank himself to death at such a young age, but then as they say, the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

Of course, any discussion of Rocky’s sexual identity leads one to wonder about Donald and Daffy Duck and so many other stars of that era whom, even though they went commando, appeared to be plumbing neutral. Which leads us, of course, to the master himself, Bugs Bunny, who looked great in drag and never hesitated to flirt with Elmer Fudd. Oddly, Fudd, who could have had any woman in Hollywood at the height of his career, never appeared to be threatened by Bugs’ advances, but rather seemed to welcome them, which is just what one might expect from those Hollywood types. Nothing that they did on or off screen should surprise us.

So, I think that the best course of action, should one find oneself in the shower with a soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine, whether cartoon or human, would be to keep your eyes front, look at the mantle and away from the ‘plumbing’ while thinking fondly of Rocky, Bullwinkle, Boris, Natasha, and Mr. Peabody and Sherman, and all should be well for all concerned.

 

Stephen Breacain

 Manteca

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