View Mobile Site

Ex-Wildcat’s wild weekend with wings

Text Size: Small Large Medium
POSTED November 10, 2010 3:04 a.m.
Since Buffalo Wild Wings opened, I’d planned on an afternoon of college football there.

As a University of Arizona graduate, I had watched the Wildcats in the softball world series and NCAA basketball tournament at the Tucson location when I returned to visit friends. Tragically, the Wildcats lost both of those games, but that couldn’t possibly be the fault of Buffalo Wild Wings.

Right?

There was also the Wii promotion there one spring when I lost a video-game free-throw contest to a girl with tattoos and a deeper voice than mine.

In this light, it would appear Wild Wings is a temple of fried meat and defeat, but Saturday I woke up prepared to spend the day indoors, which I hadn’t done in a while. Not that cutting up wood to build something is nature-y, but it’s much more outdoorsy than sitting in front of a room filled with flat screens.

The first order of mini corn-dogs arrived at 3:57.

At 4:03 I saw the clip of Penn State coach Joe Paterno winning his 400th game and at 4:07 Alabama lost. BCS mathematicians then got frantic phone calls at 4:08 with instructions to re-cook their recipes to assist a one-loss big market team into the title game rather than Boise State or TCU in the event that Oregon or Auburn lose.

5:10: Arizona and Stanford are playing, but I can’t see it. I tell the manager.

5:12:  Game on. Nice work Tony.

For the next two hours I struggled to rally my school by ordering ‘comeback corn-dogs’ or a half dozen wings hoping desperately it would help the passing game, which worked, but only in the way that required a house salad to garnish the breaded, greasy, saucy, spicy mass churning in my digestive system.

It was good, but one of those indulgent times in which you know consequences will follow.

By 7:31, it was clear a comeback was unlikely, but to add insult to indigestion, the Arizona State game was switched on in place of the Arizona game. Everything got figured out just in time for the twin big screens to show Arizona State score just before another Stanford touchdown.

It would be difficult for me to imagine a more horrible 32 second span. Fortunately my outright depression didn’t last too long. It is, after all, just a game. Not that I love my school any less, but that I love my rivers more. What started as a column idea about food and football at a sports bar became more complex than the Mango Habanero sauce. Sixty wings, 12 corn dogs, 15 sticks of celery, 6 southwest dippers, 3 salads and 1 entree later, the five of us left.

I got home and the first thing that came to mind, other than maybe some antacid, was to read. I settled into the recliner with some Field and Stream back issues and John Gierach. It occurred to me then, that not only had my college tolerance for greasy food dropped, but that I could have bought a week’s worth of spinners for the Thorne River back home, or jigs and flies for the Russian and Upper Sacramento around here. There was a time when a fifth of a day spent at a sports bar eating a prairie’s worth of deep fried animal parts and leftovers would be the entree of the week.

But that was probably half a decade ago.

Yeah it was good food and it’s always cool to be around friends, but sometimes your definition of the perfect way to spend a Saturday changes, and that’s okay.

Maybe next time we’ll pick up some wings on the way to the river.

Now that’s a delicious combo.

To contact Jeff Lund, e-mail aklund21@gmail.com.

Commenting is not available.

Commenting not available.

Please wait ...