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Hey, man, like tax me, like a lot, like now

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POSTED July 10, 2009 2:05 a.m.
Want proof positive that marijuana causes brain damage?

The Marijuana Policy Project has put together a 30-second commercial urging folks up in Sacramento to legalize pot. That by itself would simply mean they hold a different opinion than many people have about whether marijuana should be accepted and has no serious side effects.

It isn’t until you see the commercial you realize that marijuana obviously kills off brain cells. It starts with a woman going into detail about the California state budget mess. Then she delivers the line that is empirical evidence that pot use dulls the senses – well, at least, common sense. The line? “The governor and legislature are ignoring millions of Californians who want to pay taxes – we’re marijuana users. Taxes from California marijuana users could pay the salaries of 20,000 teachers.”

So we understand that, there are people who want to beat down the door in Sacramento to pay more taxes. Marijuana users are definitely on a mind-bending trip.

Then again, it is better than the judgment-alternating substances that the California Legislature apparently has been smoking for the last decade or so as they kept ramming California into the financial iceberg until they successful split the economy’s hull.

In fairness to the “hell, yes, tax us now” pot heads, coming up with unique ways to raise money may indeed be a partial answer to the state’s budget crisis.

Schwarzenegger hinted at one such solution – broadcasting budget negotiations live to jump on the reality TV rage. However enticing watching grown men bicker back and forth and a grown woman have a temper tantrum and boycott budget talks while the California drowns in a sea of red might be` in luring viewers an therefore advertisers, it isn’t the best answer.

Instead, they should turn the State Capitol into a Disneyland-style political theme park where they print funny money. There is no need to hire anyone to fill the roles of Goofy or Mickey Mouse since we’ve already elected 120 people who can play the roles to a “T”.

They could turn the Assembly chambers into a studio for a free-for-all TV show. Can you imagine the ratings you’d get having Jerry Springer replace Karen Bass and have the Republicans and Democrats go at it mano-mano while every special interest group that has been picketing the capitol in the last few weeks can share the stage with them yelling and screaming epitaphs at how the legislators are:

•a) killing them?

•b) dooming every kid in California to become dumb?

•c) taking the state back to the Ice Age?

Even if there aren’t a lot of advertisers willing to pay big bucks for commercials, at least taxpayers will get some entertainment from watching legislators being humiliated. At least we’ll get something for our pain and suffering.

Since the Senate chamber has more decorum, it’s the perfect setting for a taping of the Dr. Phil Show.  Can you image the wealth of material that Dr. Phil would have to do shows on? The Senate is filled with ego-maniacs, political prostitutes, cut-throat maniacs, intellectual lightweights, wheeler dealers, and liars.

The state could start charging for access with lobbyists and others who seek special favors from Sacramento when they enter Mickey Mouse Land North. Every time a lobbyist enters they would have to pay $10,000 to the state treasury. If unlimited return privileges good for seven days, the price of admission goes up to $100,000.

Given the amount of favors some special interest groups get from the state, the $24.6 billion deficit could be erased in perhaps two weeks, maybe three weeks at tops.
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