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Why you never see talking Geckos on Manteca’s streets

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POSTED September 23, 2009 1:21 a.m.
Here are some Ripley’s Believe It Or Not amazing facts from the streets of Manteca.

Strange, but true, a driver on Sept. 1, 1999 actually was seen coming to a full-stop at the Tahoe Way and Mission Ridge Drive stop sign.

Did you know that pedestrians in some cultures actually have a right to walk on green lights?

Some quaint motorists belonging to the long lost tribe dubbed “Courteous Motorists” have been known to use turn signals.

The law barring the use of hand-held cell phones while driving apparently applies to only one out of every five motorists.

Amber lights in macho cultures require those far away from intersections to step on the gas as only wimps are caught staring down red.

Those playing loud thumper music are actually conditioning their ears to audition for hearing aid commercials.

The Little Old Lady from Pasadena fame tried to match the locals on Louise Avenue but they shut her down.
On Dec. 24, 1985 someone actually stopped to allow a pedestrian to cross North Main Street at Edison Street. Experts chalk it up to someone being intoxicated on “goodwill-toward-all-mankind” hype.

A little known fact but the numbers on the yellow diamond signs posted around town are not the minimum speed limit.

Some motorists still practice the quaint tradition of pulling over to the right when an emergency vehicle with red lights and siren approaches.

Contrary to popular belief, the California driving rule about a car length for every 10 miles per hour you are traveling applies to a full-sized car and not a Hot Wheels.

Three out of every four motorists are graduates of the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk Bumper School of Behind-the-Wheel Driving Instruction.

Double yellow lines mean you must pass double the number of cars.

Bicyclists ignoring rules of the road are hardcore fans of the Charles Bronson classic “Death Wish.”

Patience is a virtue unless you are behind the wheel.

Dyslexia is the main reason why many motorists fail to stop at those funny looking octagon-shaped red signs.

In Manteca motoring lingo, pedestrians who step in the street are known either as “fair targets” or “dead meat.”

Carly Simon’s song “You’re So Vain” was a salute to those delivery truck drivers in Manteca who believe it is all about them when they block travel lanes to make deliveries.

A Manteca taxi is a car a meth user pops for a quick trip across town.

Flashing red lights and dropping crossing arms often send signals to the section of the brains of Family City drivers that stimulates the “Dukes of Hazards” thought process.

The game of hide and seek was invented in Manteca. In its original form it involved drivers tapping parked cars and taking off before they are caught.

It was reported on April 14, 2003 that a motorist was actually driving the speed limit on Cottage Avenue between the Highway 99 overcrossing and North Street. The driver later sheepishly told friends when they were ribbing him that he had accidently taken his foot off the accelerator.

Manteca skateboarders weaving in and out of traffic as well as shooting off sidewalk into busy streets have nine lives.

If God had intended people to walk in Manteca he never would have invented cars.

One out of every 11 drivers believes “auto club” refers to the act of using your vehicle to tap others to get them to move faster when traffic signals turn to green.

The reason you see no talking Geckos filmed on the streets of Manteca is the marketing agency that created the insurance company icon fears it would become road kill in less than a minute.

The quickest route between two points in Manteca is a two-mile detour.

If singing pavement such as what was installed in Southern California by Honda to play the “William Tell Overture” as tires pass over were installed on Moffat Boulevard, the song would be “Catch Me If You Can, I’m the Gingerbread Man.”

The three biggest lines told to police officers by drivers ticketed for doing 65 mph in the 45 mph zone on Woodward Avenue during late weekday afternoons are “What’s the big deal, I missed the kid crossing to the park by a good five feet”, “Cut me some slack, officer, you have a quota or something?” and “If I wanted to go 45 mph I would have taken the Highway 120 Bypass instead.”
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