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Single moms do what they have to do for kids

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Single moms do what they have to do for kids

Rebekah DelSanto and her daughter Aubri.

Photo contributed/

POSTED May 11, 2013 2:16 a.m.

WATERFORD – Rebekah DelSanto did what she had to do in the best interest of her daughter.

It wasn’t that she wanted to move away from Ripon. The small, intimate community offered unique opportunities that you don’t find every day, and most of her friends – those in her immediate support group – lived in the small enclave.

But when the family that she worked for moved to a rural property in Waterford, she didn’t have the financial means to stay behind. Her options were limited as a single mother, and while she could have tried to rationalize staying with a friend or finding another job or any one of a number of scenarios, DelSanto said she realized that she wasn’t making decisions solely for herself anymore.

For the last 20 months her life hasn’t just about her.

With Mothers Day this weekend, The Bulletin chatted with DelSanto to find out what the holiday means to her now that she’s a mother herself and what life is like for a single mother:

What’s the hardest thing about being a single mother?

“Everything is planted firmly on your shoulders. You have become your child’s life, and you can’t be selfish anymore. There isn’t any such thing as “me time” anymore when you’re a single mom because everything that you do is for your child – that’s the way that is has to be.”

How did things in your life change after becoming a mother?

“You learn quickly that you can no longer do what you want, when you want, where you want. You have to think about what is best for the both of you, and you have to start thinking about what’s coming down the road. You’re not living in the moment anymore.”

Did your impression of Mother’s Day after having a child of your own?

“I look at mothers a lot different. I have a lot more respect for them and how they pull their weight. It’s amazing how selfless they can be and what they’re willing to do for their family and for their kids. I understand why they do the things that they do.”

Did having a child make you closer with your own mother?

“I’m not really close with my mother, but it has made me closer with the motherly figures in my life.”

What were the sacrifices that you had to make when you became a parent?

“When I had my daughter, I didn’t initially have the means to keep her so I was going to put her up for adoption. But keeping her is the best decision that I’ve ever made. But it can be stressful at times. I realize that there is no fallback. If it doesn’t work out for you then it doesn’t work out for her either. There is a lot of pressure on you to do the best that you can and provide her with everything that she needs. I love her to death and there isn’t anything that I wouldn’t trade her for the world, but sometimes I feel the weight of that decision.”

What makes you happiest about being with her?

“The innocence. It’s hard to explain – she’s just pure joy to me. I can be in the worst mood, and I’ll see her smile and I’ll instantly be happy. She’s not weighed down by the pressure of the world, and if I had to summarize her spirit in one word I’d have to say, precious. I think that about sums it up.”

Is there anything that the two of you share?

“Horses. I’ve always had a passion for horses, and she loves being outside and being my little helper. And the fact that she’s taken a liking to something that means so much to me is something that I can help but appreciate. She enjoys a lot of different things, and I think that it’s good for a child to be diverse in their knowledge. But it’s something that we can spend time doing together, and I think that’s the No. 1 ingredient in parenting. It’s all about quality time.”

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