At long last, our dream has come true, freeing us from the drudgery that has oppressed so many people over the past 500 years or so - namely, having to use our hands to open a bottle of wine.
It tells you something about the news media that before the House vote Tuesday, talking heads were warning Americans that unless the GOP House voted for a bill to stall our going over the fiscal cliff, taxes would go up on 98 percent of Americans. President Barack Obama's big talking point matched the cable news narrative. Breaking news: Republicans were ready to raise taxes on the middle class to shield top earners from a tax increase.
Millions of Americans watched the ball drop on New Year's Eve. The glitzy one in Times Square symbolized joy and hope for the New Year. Just a few hundred miles to the south, Congress dropped another ball - one that no doubt sent champagne glasses clinking among the richest 1 percent. But the rest of us shouldn't celebrate.
Unlicensed drivers are nearly three times likelier than licensed drivers to cause a fatal crash in California. Indeed, unlicensed drivers are likelier to cause fatal crashes than drivers who have had their licenses suspended or revoked. So found a new study released by the California Department of Motor Vehicles.
It's not just about the bird.
The idea for massacring children in an elementary school or shooting up a mall filled with Christmas shoppers does not come from reading books, watching movies or listening to music. Does the incitement for such unspeakable acts come from hours of role-playing violent video games?
This special day got me to thinking about America's spirit of giving, and I don't mean this overdone business of Christmas gifts. I mean our true spirit of giving - giving of ourselves.
Sometimes, the folks who aren't protesting can be just as newsworthy as the crowds mobilizing in the streets.
Abandon all hope, ye who watch the "fiscal cliff" drama.
WASHINGTON - It's "Auld Lang Syne" time again. Robert Burns is credited with "collecting" the lyrics for the old Scottish drinking and dancing ballad that's become a traditional part of New Year's festivities. The most memorable verses - "should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind" and the chorus, "for auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne" - are often described as reminders of "the good old times" amid new beginnings. That's a tough task this year. Saying goodbye to 2012 won't ...
To a black ESPN sports analyst, this is the critical question: Is Robert Griffin III, aka RG III, the black rookie sensation Washington Redskins quarterback, "a brother, or is he a cornball brother?" What has RG III done or said to raise a suspicion about his bona fides as a black person? More importantly, what does this have to do with appreciating - or choosing not to appreciate - Griffin as an athlete?
When you lose an election, you get frustrated. When you're sitting in a subpar 2 percent economy, and are faced with tax hikes rather than marginal rate reductions, you get even more frustrated. And when you're staring at $47 trillion in spending over the next 10 years, and $8.6 trillion in deficits, your frustration levels climb even higher.
A "serious" proposal is one that has a reasonable expectation of resolving a conflict. Anyone studying Speaker Boehner's Plan B proposal knows it wasn't serious. Why are so many defending it and bemoaning its defeat?
The following is reprinted from the editorial page of the New York Sun. The editorial first appeared in 1897.
For most of my life, Christmas has been a strange, sad and lonely day. I've raised my children the way I was raised: to respect Christmas as a religious holiday, which is to say not our holiday.
In 2008 Democratic Senator Dianne Feinstein declared: "There are parts of government that can be run like a business and should be run like a business."
At the declaration by Donald Trump that he is a candidate for the presidential nomination of the Republican Party, media elites of left and right reacted with amusement, anger and disgust.
Big news from that razzle-dazzle place I call "El Casino Grande" - otherwise known as Wall Street.
"You'd have to be made of stone not to feel for these students," Education Secretary Arne Duncan said as he announced an Obama administration decision to forgive as many as 350,000 loans taken out by students of the now-defunct Corinthian Colleges. "Some of these schools have brought the ethics of payday lending into higher education."
When a big-name retailer finds its sales in a slow downward spiral, the geniuses in the executive suite often try to keep their profits up by cheapening their product and delivering less to customers.
Not another Bush v. Clinton campaign, you hear from Republicans who aren't for Jeb Bush anyway. Why should these old fashioned brands have such appeal that we actually think we can turn the clock back to the time when the biggest worry was a blue dress. But even that isn't exactly right: There was after all the hopeless search for the weapons of mass destruction and the mission that has yet to be accomplished. Granted, I'm a Democrat. But at least I can find something to look back on fondly, or with amusement, or with anything but ...
The revenge of the status quo is brutish. "If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it," humorist Art Buchwald once observed. Those words never seemed truer than at the "Uber Turns Five" celebration at its San Francisco digs Wednesday. In the disruption economy, five years can carry a ride-service giant from disruptor to establishment.
The story of Bruce Jenner declaring against human reality that he's a woman was already a tired old story, exhausted last month in a one-hour prime-time ABC "news" special. But that's not how the grand pooh-bahs of our news and entertainment media see it. They can't get enough. Deconstruction is a tonic. And so the Kardashian-Jenner Inc. rollout continues, a perfect combination of shameless TV hucksterism and a leftist revolt against the old-fashioned notion of natural humanity. How yesterday.
The Clinton campaign has launched its campaign in the courts, being waged by a veteran of such battles but on a far larger scale. What the Clintons are doing is challenging the new round of regulations on voter identification and proof enacted in a handful of states with a history of discriminatory voting practices. In the past, these laws would not have stood up to the scrutiny of the Justice Department; in the new era, thanks to another misguided Supreme Court decision, the states are free to do what they want. Sadly, the best proof that the law is still ...
Fourteen to one, in favor.
Ann Coulter lives up to her reputation of issuing warnings and political commentary that nobody else dares to say in her newest book, "Adios, America!" It's aptly titled; she makes the case that it is goodbye to the America we know and love if we don't stop diluting our population with people who don't love America, don't respect our Constitution and laws, don't even speak our language, and commit all sorts of unspeakable crimes.
In Progressive World, there are at least four stages of legally becoming an adult.
If you're a student of public relations, you had to be impressed. The rollout of Bruce to Caitlyn has been handled with such mastery that you'd think we live in a country that long ago shed any deep hostility toward those who don't easily fit into boxes marked "male" or "female." From Diane Sawyer to Vanity Fair, it's been 5-star but tasteful, if you know what I mean, which is exactly what you'd expect from Alan Nierob, the longtime Hollywood pro who is reportedly running the show.
The culture war against Christianity is picking up speed.
Senator Chuck Schumer, a leader of the corporate wing of congressional Democrats and heir apparent to outgoing Minority Leader Harry Reid, never met a global trade deal too ugly to hug.