As an exasperated Casey Stengel asked the bumbling 1962 New York Mets baseball team he managed: "Can't anybody here play this game?"
Would you believe that 45 million adult Americans still smoke? That's about one in five of us grownups. Worldwide this killer habit ends about six million lives each year. But what's most disturbing - 10 percent of victims never even took a puff. They got their cancer from second-hand smoke.
From electricity to earmuffs, once you buy a product or service from a company, it shouldn't be any of its business how you choose to use it. Your power company doesn't say you can't use the energy-saving features on your new refrigerator unless you buy more electricity. And your grocer doesn't make you buy an extra loaf of bread if you stop purchasing potato chips.
Arnold Schwarzenegger comes across a lot better in his memoirs, "Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story," than he did during a "60 Minutes" TV interview broadcast Sunday night.
Seated in the upper deck at San Francisco's AT&T Park, during a Giants-Rockies game, you wouldn't know millions of Americans are underwater and unemployed, or that the 2012 elections were less than two months away. The large man seated next to me cups his hand over his mouth to scream, "Colorado, you suck!" and other such sagacious slogans as the game creeps on, and the sun sets over San Francisco Bay.
After watching the national media's performance since the party conventions, one can only hope that college students are out on a summer safari or some Third World Peace Corps mission. Anything to avoid this mess. Sean Hannity is right. The establishment news media is dead. Whatever remains has only one standard. If it helps Obama, it's "news." If it doesn't, reporters should move on. There's nothing to observe here.
Mark Hanna, the Karl Rove of the old Robber Baron era, explained a century ago that, "There are two things that are important in politics. The first is money, and I can't remember the second."
The University of California has reached a $1 million settlement with UC Davis students who were pepper sprayed at an Occupy-inspired Nov. 18 demonstration to protest rising tuition. UC will pay student plaintiffs $30,000 each, and the American Civil Liberties Union will pocket up to $250,000. Everything that is wrong in California resides in this story.
If "journalism malpractice" were a crime, Nancy Grace would not be able to keep track of all the trials.
You can put earrings on a hog… but it won't hide the ugliness.
Candidate Barack Obama made this promise to Univision anchorman Jorge Ramos in May 2008:
For Americans of the Greatest Generation that fought World War II and of the Silent Generation that came of age in the 1950s, the great moral and ideological cause was the Cold War.
The "enlightened" who claim a firm grip on the steering wheel of Western civilization see the future through a lens in which man becomes ever more perfectible as outdated religious creeds fade away. And thus the irony. For all the contempt these cosmopolitans show for religion, there is one faith beyond public rebuke. Call it Islamic exceptionalism.
Food fight, everyone – let's all join the fun!
There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what," Mitt Romney told donors in a $50,000-a-plate Florida fundraiser that was secretly recorded in May and released by Mother Jones this week. In an unfortunate choice of words, Romney described those 47 percent as people who "are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it."
Sam Berns died last week, at the age of 17.
How near death is the California Republican Party? It's this bad. Democrats hold every statewide office. Term limits have opened up a few offices; still, no serious Republican plans to run for attorney general, lieutenant governor, treasurer or controller this year. If the lead Democrat for any of those offices were to die in September, there would be no Republican in the race to win in November.
As we approach the centennial of World War I, we will read much of the blunders that produced that tragedy of Western civilization.
Perhaps you thought the political world was finally safe from the dynamic duo of Rob Ford and Trey Radel. But no. Heeeere they come, rushing back into the limelight.
Liberals are angry President Barack Obama won a second term, and yet, they didn't get the liberal agenda items they wanted passed in 2013, including gun control and amnesty for illegal aliens. The complaint at the end of the year is that this was the "least productive Congress" in 66 years, with production always being measured by the amount of legislation passed.
If I were governor of New Jersey and really wanted to know whether my staff had any involvement whatsoever in a nasty political prank that closed lanes and gridlocked traffic on the George Washington Bridge in September as payback for the Fort Lee mayor's refusal to endorse me, I would not do what Chris Christie did. That is, wait until December and then tell staffers that if they knew anything about the bridge mess, they had one hour to inform not me but my top underling or chief counsel.