As an exasperated Casey Stengel asked the bumbling 1962 New York Mets baseball team he managed: "Can't anybody here play this game?"
Would you believe that 45 million adult Americans still smoke? That's about one in five of us grownups. Worldwide this killer habit ends about six million lives each year. But what's most disturbing - 10 percent of victims never even took a puff. They got their cancer from second-hand smoke.
From electricity to earmuffs, once you buy a product or service from a company, it shouldn't be any of its business how you choose to use it. Your power company doesn't say you can't use the energy-saving features on your new refrigerator unless you buy more electricity. And your grocer doesn't make you buy an extra loaf of bread if you stop purchasing potato chips.
Arnold Schwarzenegger comes across a lot better in his memoirs, "Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story," than he did during a "60 Minutes" TV interview broadcast Sunday night.
Seated in the upper deck at San Francisco's AT&T Park, during a Giants-Rockies game, you wouldn't know millions of Americans are underwater and unemployed, or that the 2012 elections were less than two months away. The large man seated next to me cups his hand over his mouth to scream, "Colorado, you suck!" and other such sagacious slogans as the game creeps on, and the sun sets over San Francisco Bay.
After watching the national media's performance since the party conventions, one can only hope that college students are out on a summer safari or some Third World Peace Corps mission. Anything to avoid this mess. Sean Hannity is right. The establishment news media is dead. Whatever remains has only one standard. If it helps Obama, it's "news." If it doesn't, reporters should move on. There's nothing to observe here.
Mark Hanna, the Karl Rove of the old Robber Baron era, explained a century ago that, "There are two things that are important in politics. The first is money, and I can't remember the second."
The University of California has reached a $1 million settlement with UC Davis students who were pepper sprayed at an Occupy-inspired Nov. 18 demonstration to protest rising tuition. UC will pay student plaintiffs $30,000 each, and the American Civil Liberties Union will pocket up to $250,000. Everything that is wrong in California resides in this story.
If "journalism malpractice" were a crime, Nancy Grace would not be able to keep track of all the trials.
You can put earrings on a hog… but it won't hide the ugliness.
Candidate Barack Obama made this promise to Univision anchorman Jorge Ramos in May 2008:
For Americans of the Greatest Generation that fought World War II and of the Silent Generation that came of age in the 1950s, the great moral and ideological cause was the Cold War.
The "enlightened" who claim a firm grip on the steering wheel of Western civilization see the future through a lens in which man becomes ever more perfectible as outdated religious creeds fade away. And thus the irony. For all the contempt these cosmopolitans show for religion, there is one faith beyond public rebuke. Call it Islamic exceptionalism.
Food fight, everyone – let's all join the fun!
There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what," Mitt Romney told donors in a $50,000-a-plate Florida fundraiser that was secretly recorded in May and released by Mother Jones this week. In an unfortunate choice of words, Romney described those 47 percent as people who "are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it."
The NBA consists of 76 percent black players. But blacks are just 13 percent of the country. Clearly, the league engages in racial discrimination against whites. Silly, right? Well, this is exactly what the sleight-of-hand Department of Justice pulled off to find that the Ferguson Police Department engages in "implicit and explicit racial bias"!
As Hillary Clinton took questions from the media about the personal email account she used as secretary of state, I felt a flashback coming on. She said she simply chose to use a personal account with a personal server "for convenience." I felt I had traveled back in time to 1998. Washington was screaming across the aisle. First lady Hillary Clinton charged that a "vast right-wing conspiracy" was behind stories that her husband had an affair with Monica Lewinsky. President Bill Clinton denied that he ever had "sexual relations" with the former intern.
It's always nice to know, as I sit here writing, that somebody out there might be listening. This week, I know for sure. My last column essentially asked: What's the big deal about Hillary's emails if she's turning them over anyway?
ORINDA - Mayor Steve Glazer says that he is running for a state Senate seat vacated by now-Rep. Mark DeSaulnier "as a pragmatic problem-solver rather than a partisan." In my line of work, I hear that sort of stock phrase all the time; I take it with a grain of salt. In Glazer's case, however, two facts suggest he means business: 1) He supports a law to prohibit Bay Area Rapid Transit workers from striking as they did in 2013. 2) Public employee unions have shoveled hundreds of thousands of dollars to help defeat Glazer, a Democrat.
On Inauguration Day 2009, the White House website declared President Obama's administration would become "the most open and transparent in history." By the end of the next day, Obama had issued high-profile orders pledging "a new era" and "an unprecedented level of openness" across the massive federal bureaucracy.
In Murfreesboro, Tennessee, less than an hour's drive from my childhood home, two high school girls' basketball teams just made national headlines - by trying to lose to each other.
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie gave his first-date speech at the California Republican Party's spring convention in Sacramento earlier this month. Like a big man on campus, Christie essentially was telling the party faithful: I know you've heard some bad stuff about me, but here's why you should go out with me.
Campaign 2016 Update: Hillary Clinton Used Personal Email Account.
I was always one of those kids who got As in school.
Eric Holder's Justice Department has completed its investigation into whether Ferguson cop Darren Wilson killed Michael Brown in cold blood for racist reasons when he shot the black teenager last August.
The GOP-led House of Representatives has already achieved a historic legislative record.
Can someone explain why the "party of limited government" continues, with a straight face, to support ethanol? Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa says about the heavily subsided product, "Everything about ethanol is good, good, good."
When actress Patricia Arquette won an Oscar, she pled for "wage equality" for women: "To every woman who gave birth to every taxpayer and citizen in this nation: We have fought for everybody else's equal rights. It's our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the United States of America."
"Do the crime, do the time," goes the old saying.