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Albert ‘Santa’ Fonseca

Karma showed up at the MRPS Hall this last week in the form of my 5-year-old nephew Bode – and took a big bite out of my behind. I was fulfilling my year end duties as Santa Claus, and he'd just gone through the routine of sitting on Santa's lap. He was completely fooled. A huge relief to myself, as I don't want to be the one that is forever burned into his little head when he figures it all out. It had been in that same hall many years before that a young Chris figured out the ...

December 11, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


In Loving Memory...

It was nearly a year and a half ago that I decided to put my column on the auction block at a local fundraiser. The Bulletin hadn't said I couldn't, so "Entitlement Chris" decided it was fine to do. I figured it would be a nice gesture to donate something charitable and secretly knew it would give me a week off – while someone else had to toil above their keyboard. It was purchased by Alyce Machado Luis, under the guise that at any point she felt the need to speak her mind, dote upon her kids, or simply ...

December 04, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Year later, homeless problem still exists

Thanks to the news regarding the recent lawsuit being brought against the City of Manteca, the homeless issue is once again the hot button of conversation in town.

November 26, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Thankful Mantecans

(While I may be the captain of the ship that is Manteca to a T, I often find it is best to hand the wheel over to a reader, in order to most adequately sail certain subjects. This week first mate Jessica (Donges) Vaughan steers us through Thanksgiving and what it means....)

November 20, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


The Santatastrophe

It's been a good 15 years since I first played Santa during the holiday season. I'd like to think I was first asked to don the suit because of my gregarious nature – but am certain it was just a ramification of being the only one without kids in my age group.

November 13, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


In regards to last week’s column . . .

Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that I still live in what is essentially, the same small town I grew up in. Last week I attempted to write a column about the MHS vs. EU rivalry. I hoped to spark some interest in a rivalry game that from my point of view had lost a bit of steam the last decade. The column however was leaked to a few of the EU contingent before it made press. And boy did it get ugly. Phone calls to the Bulletin office with threats of ending subscriptions. Various emails bouncing around town ...

November 06, 2015 | By Chris Teicheira | Manteca to a T


Missing days of intense EU-Manteca rivalry

Here we are nearly midway through the football season. The Raiders and Niners seem to be what everyone thought – one team on the rise, the other a shipwreck teetering on the brink. On the local home front, the Buffs appear primed for another playoff run while the Timberwolves attempt to turn their season around. Across town, the Lancers are struggling a bit.

October 30, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Sundays with Manuel . . .

Sunday mornings on the dairy were always an adventure for me as a teen. Sundays were the day my uncles would take off to be with their families - which meant one thing. I would be feeding calves and cows on this day.

October 23, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


A swing & a miss

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Baseball playoffs are in full swing. My tractor cab prepped with sunflower seeds and ice cold Squirt cans – ruling my daytime radio enjoyment the way Christopher Columbus intended. The baseball playoffs remind me of one undeniable fact: I've been striking out with the opposite sex for the entire year.

October 16, 2015 | By Chris Teicheira | Manteca to a T


Lesson learned, Mrs. Wentworth, Mr. Clemensen

So here I am, on the eve of my book signing, and can only think of one thing – the fact that I have the penmanship of a 1st grader. It was 2nd grade the first time I approached a teacher with this brilliant offer - "How about I just pass the tests, and we just skip the whole homework thing?"

October 09, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Manteca to a teat

It was a Tuesday evening in the not so distant past when I was bombarded by the milk and toddler display outside of Save Mart.

October 02, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Frank had big impact

I wanted to kill Frank Guinta.

September 25, 2015 | JEFF TILTON | Manteca to a T


Chris chasing unicorns

Dreams are like unicorns – they're only real if you're still chasing them. I turned 40 something last week, but find myself still searching for one of the unicorns that has eluded me my entire life - finding a nice Portuguese Catholic woman to bring home.

September 17, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Football fantasy follies

It's the most wonderful time of the year. No, not Christmas, but the start of Football Season. Though I'm still waiting for that first crisp fall night to remind me that it's true – I got a taste of new football tradition this last weekend.

September 11, 2015 | By Chris Teicheira | Manteca to a T


Egg Saladspiration

I suppose it's not too early to make an exciting announcement. The powers that be at the Manteca Bulletin headquarters, have decided to turn the Manteca to a T column – into the Manteca to a T coffee table book – or bathroom book - or waiting room book- or book used to level a pool table. Feel free to use the book however you see fit, but know that it is coming!.A short collection of the columns many people loved – or that many have hated – over the last 2 years. I was asked to bang out three or four new ...

September 03, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


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Articles by Section - Manteca to a T


Chris Teicheira’s excellent adventure

It's Super Bowl week. America's most popular, yet unrecognized holiday. This is Thanksgiving with a better football game. If congress would finally pass ...

February 05, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Public speaking gone bad

There is nothing I enjoy more than hearing from a friend or acquaintance that they want to give stand-up comedy a try. I usually recommend ...

February 02, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


A not so ‘Free Day’ . . .

On Tuesday, I spent what friend Vic Morito likes to call a "Free Day". A "Free Day" entails waking up in bed at around noon ...

January 22, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Beware: Sharp tongues

I attended my company Christmas party on Wednesday night. No, not out here in the country to celebrate my yearly tractorship. And no, not down ...

December 18, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


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