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About ‘entitled boobery’

Being a 40-year-entitled boob myself, it is rare that I come across the entitlements of others, and am left mouth agape. It takes a special person to ever cause me to reel back and think, "My lord, can this person be serious?!" But recently I encountered a fellow entitled boob, and she was firing on all cylinders.

February 19, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Judging Manteca High . . .

As we all know Chris is a proud supporter of his alma mater Manteca High School. Because of this, he's given me, a proud current coach and teacher at MHS, a guest appearance in his column

February 12, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Chris Teicheira’s excellent adventure

It's Super Bowl week. America's most popular, yet unrecognized holiday. This is Thanksgiving with a better football game. If congress would finally pass a law, giving us Monday morning off – I'd be willing to say goodbye to Valentine's and Labor Day forever. The NFL put together a week of interactive events and attractions, all intended to draw people into San Francisco. Being a Raider fan, I have no dog in this Super Bowl fight, but would love to watch the Broncos lose another one.

February 05, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Public speaking gone bad

There is nothing I enjoy more than hearing from a friend or acquaintance that they want to give stand-up comedy a try. I usually recommend they walk outside in the morning to get the paper in their underwear; it's basically the same, especially if you decide to get the entire block's paper for them.

February 02, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


A not so ‘Free Day’ . . .

On Tuesday, I spent what friend Vic Morito likes to call a "Free Day". A "Free Day" entails waking up in bed at around noon – and then frittering the day away – without ever leaving the house. These completely non-productive days, are just what every person pursuing a comedy career, got into comedy for. The ability to rationalize a day of watching Die Hard for the 16th time, or thumbing through a Time Life book about sharks I've had since I was five. But all this is done under the guise of "working on my craft" or "working on my ...

January 22, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Beware: Sharp tongues

I attended my company Christmas party on Wednesday night. No, not out here in the country to celebrate my yearly tractorship. And no, not down at the Manteca Bulletin so they can laud my rise up the journalistic ladder – I hear they actually plan to move the office soon and not tell me. But the Christmas party for the job I love to hate – Stand-Up Comedy.

December 18, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Albert ‘Santa’ Fonseca

Karma showed up at the MRPS Hall this last week in the form of my 5-year-old nephew Bode – and took a big bite out of my behind. I was fulfilling my year end duties as Santa Claus, and he'd just gone through the routine of sitting on Santa's lap. He was completely fooled. A huge relief to myself, as I don't want to be the one that is forever burned into his little head when he figures it all out. It had been in that same hall many years before that a young Chris figured out the ...

December 11, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


In Loving Memory...

It was nearly a year and a half ago that I decided to put my column on the auction block at a local fundraiser. The Bulletin hadn't said I couldn't, so "Entitlement Chris" decided it was fine to do. I figured it would be a nice gesture to donate something charitable and secretly knew it would give me a week off – while someone else had to toil above their keyboard. It was purchased by Alyce Machado Luis, under the guise that at any point she felt the need to speak her mind, dote upon her kids, or simply ...

December 04, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Year later, homeless problem still exists

Thanks to the news regarding the recent lawsuit being brought against the City of Manteca, the homeless issue is once again the hot button of conversation in town.

November 26, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Thankful Mantecans

(While I may be the captain of the ship that is Manteca to a T, I often find it is best to hand the wheel over to a reader, in order to most adequately sail certain subjects. This week first mate Jessica (Donges) Vaughan steers us through Thanksgiving and what it means....)

November 20, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


The Santatastrophe

It's been a good 15 years since I first played Santa during the holiday season. I'd like to think I was first asked to don the suit because of my gregarious nature – but am certain it was just a ramification of being the only one without kids in my age group.

November 13, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


In regards to last week’s column . . .

Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that I still live in what is essentially, the same small town I grew up in. Last week I attempted to write a column about the MHS vs. EU rivalry. I hoped to spark some interest in a rivalry game that from my point of view had lost a bit of steam the last decade. The column however was leaked to a few of the EU contingent before it made press. And boy did it get ugly. Phone calls to the Bulletin office with threats of ending subscriptions. Various emails bouncing around town ...

November 06, 2015 | By Chris Teicheira | Manteca to a T


Missing days of intense EU-Manteca rivalry

Here we are nearly midway through the football season. The Raiders and Niners seem to be what everyone thought – one team on the rise, the other a shipwreck teetering on the brink. On the local home front, the Buffs appear primed for another playoff run while the Timberwolves attempt to turn their season around. Across town, the Lancers are struggling a bit.

October 30, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


Sundays with Manuel . . .

Sunday mornings on the dairy were always an adventure for me as a teen. Sundays were the day my uncles would take off to be with their families - which meant one thing. I would be feeding calves and cows on this day.

October 23, 2015 | | Manteca to a T


A swing & a miss

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Baseball playoffs are in full swing. My tractor cab prepped with sunflower seeds and ice cold Squirt cans – ruling my daytime radio enjoyment the way Christopher Columbus intended. The baseball playoffs remind me of one undeniable fact: I've been striking out with the opposite sex for the entire year.

October 16, 2015 | By Chris Teicheira | Manteca to a T


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Articles by Section - Manteca to a T


Elvis has left the column . . .

Dear John (or Dear Joan...or Dear Column in this case),

August 26, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Get me outta this tractor!

School is back in session which means only one thing for me: My parole officers, (pardon me, my employers), will be sticking me back inside ...

August 12, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Has the shine worn off the Olympic Games?

The Summer Olympics begin tonight in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. And I couldn't be more excited. Yes, I said excited. I am aware the ...

August 05, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Cabin Trip: From Hero to zero...

Pack up the kids, the girlfriend, the dog, or nobody – whatever it is you require for a few days of camping. The San Joaquin Valley ...

July 21, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Much ado about something

Was it just me, or could this past week not end soon enough? Politics, Shootings, Racism, Anti-Pokemon sentiment – the United States acting in a very ...

July 15, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


Begging for weed & Manteca bird watching

Am I losing my mind?! While driving through town recently, I saw a couple sitting in front of a local business. They appeared to be ...

July 08, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


The doggone truth of it

I'm often reminded that people who have lived in the city their entire lives do not understand the rules of the country. And believe ...

July 01, 2016 | | Manteca to a T


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