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They keep stepping on the red lawn rake
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Editor, Manteca Bulletin,

Has anyone else but me noticed how the Conservative Right, both nationally and locally, continue to step on the same red lawn rake not having yet recovered from the injuries previously sustained, sometimes the very next day? Yes, it happens in both parties, Harry Reid and his blue rake comes to mind, but none as often as our friends on the fringe.

With the bus to Crazy Town filled with such personalities as Doctor Strangelove Dick Cheney,  Mr. Bouncy Rush Limbaugh, Crybaby Glen Beck, Sister Sarah’s flying circus headliner Sarah Palin, and Michael Steele, who after declaring the GOP would not win back political control this year and if they did ‘..would they be ready?”, changed his tune. Apparently after receiving a good whack from that red lawn rake, placed there by angered Republicans, who launched blistering attacks on the RNC chairman’s competency as a party leader.  The very next day, Steele replied, “If they don’t like it, fire me or deal with it and shut up,” then he stepped on the rake again. Cheney who reportedly worried that the Palin choice as VP to John McCain, was “..a reckless choice..” didn’t see the red rake either. Well, it could have been worse; he could have tripped over his shotgun and shot someone in the face again.

Limbaugh, who after a visit to the ER in Hawaii, claimed everyone would get the same care and attention he did if they were in his position. I guess he meant everyone would if they were famous personalities who were also multi-millionaires, then he would be correct. But he didn’t, so he walked over to the red rake... Of course everyone sees Glen Beck step on red rakes on a daily basis, his latest was asking why it took Obama three days to comment on the “Underpants Bomber”, never mind that it took six days for Bush to do the same with the “Shoe Bomber”. Palin reportedly said her choice as VP running mate to McCain was “God’s plan”. Apparently her “God” was distracted by the Super Bowl, leaving the red rake in her path to the White House.

Rudy Giuliani, the expert on terror because he was Mayor of NY at the time of 9-11, who claimed there were no attacks on the Bush watch, forgetting 9-ll itself among others such as the Shoe Bomber, the 2001 Anthrax attack, the DC Sniper case, etc.

On the local front we hear from the same bunch parroting the national circus, “Global warming is a hoax”, satellite images of receding ice sheets be damned. Even if you can’t blame global warming on man, what is the harm in cleaning up our air? The harm, it would seem, is to the bank accounts of big oil and big coal. “Health reform defies the will of the people”. What people? You mean the people who voted for Obama on the promise of passing Health Reform? Those people? Didn’t those people vote him in? The local bunch claim health reform passed the Senate because Democrats made deals. Hello! Please do not insult the intelligence of the readership or show the degree of your extreme naiveté by suggesting that only the Democrats make deals to get bills passed. Then there were those who extolled the greatness of Richard Pombo. He is the same guy who was run out of town on a rail for a variety of reasons, none of them virtuous. So if this guy is so good, why not get him to run again in the 11th. District? That’s not a branch anyone is likely to want to walk out on. Besides, Pombo is busy packing his carpet bag to make a run at the Republican stronghold, the 19th District. I would be willing to bet he is hoping one of those red rakes isn’t waiting for him.

The best Red Rake story was provided to us by author Larry Elder who went on and on about Sister Sarah Palin’s intelligence as well as that of George W. Bush. Yes, that’s right, the two biggest stars of SNL ever. As I read Mr. Elder’s piece, I could almost hear the accompanying laugh track and as I got closer to the end, the laugh track seemed to reach a thunderous crescendo, it was such fun, I felt almost giddy for the rest of the day.

This guy not only stepped on the rake, he jumped higher than Michael Jordan and stomped on it.

Larry Baca
Jan. 11, 2010