Centuries from now when archeologists undercover the fabled “Ancient (Sound) Walled City of the Central Valley” said to be six miles north of the “Ripon Water Tower of the Gods”, they will come across peculiar markings on the ground.

The markings using white paint were on an asphalt-like substance that some surmised were once roads. They were said to always have been between block walls in the ancient city that have baffled archeologists for decades trying to ascertain the meaning of the 6-foot high walls.

Did they hold back floodwaters? Did they keep livestock in check? Or did they protect the populace from the noise and gaseous belches of metal beasts?

Trying to find answers they will consult ancient books such as the California Vehicle Code that folklore says was compiled so citizens of the once great city state could use them to prop up metal beasts in disrepair that were missing wheels on front lawns. They also will look for answers in other ancient writings to try to find out what early 21st century philosopher Budge Brown of the Oakwood Resort Empire meant when he devised a jingle urging folks to “Walk like a Mantecan.

Using various pieces of historic relics, they may start to piece together a picture of the relevance of the white markings.

It may take time but they will realize they were meant to regulate travel for commerce and passing through the ancient city.

The following are theories on what various markings may mean:

Parallel lines

Much debate exists about what the leaders of Manteca meant by having these lines placed on roadways of commerce.

Some believe it was meant that anyone stepping inside the lines was fair game. Others contend they were designed to offer those on foot a false sense of security as 250 horses came barreling down on them.

These lines were found mostly at intersections. There is one school of thought that insists that anyone under the age of 19 who walked within them as they departed temples of knowledge would be subject to being ostracized by their peers and would become outcasts.

Several historians muse that their colleagues are way off base. They say they've found evidence that these were “Lines of Death”. They believe some 21st century Mantecans practiced a death game where they got in massive two-ton metal machines and drove them at high rates of speeds toward fellow citizens who weighed anywhere from 40 to 250 pounds walking between the lines. When contact was made, the culprit piloting the metal beast won the game if he or she could offer a convincing reason why they struck their fellow citizen. Ancient writings show the excuses ranged from the fact they were chatting on a primitive, hand-held personal communication device to plucking their eye brows or shaving.

The Mark of ‘X’

This road painting of an “X” that was often accompanied by the initials “RR” has perplexed students of the fabled walled city for years.

At first they believed it was in reference to two steel beams that crossed the roads of commerce at grade level. These beams, they ascertained, were something to be held in reverence by travelers.

But then ancient books kept by the authorities revealed photos of massive vehicles parked at times on top of the two beams. This surely could not have been a sign of reverence or respect for whatever power was transported within or on the beams.

One theory that hasn’t been discredited involves the 21st century obsessions with the “X” as a mark to hit using personal weapons. As the theory goes, ancient Mantecans would take these steel vehicles and place them on the beams as if there were altars of sacrifice. The chosen ones would then be struck by some overwhelming powerful force moving at great speed to take them to the promised land.

Still others contend the “X” was largely an artistic sign representing death.

Dueling arrows

These markings have been found in the middle of roads of commerce. They were found usually between other lines that were painted yellow.

The Book of DMV — considered the bible of how to behave by those who belonged to the Law & Order Cult —  contains a passage that says these were used for turning into places of commerce on the opposite side of the road.

However, evidence unearthed at the Great Civic Center where security forces were housed reveals that many used these as a bonus travel lane.

This has stumped archeologists who are trying to figure the significance of the arrows within two sets of parallel double yellow lines. Were these lanes for the privileged that were above the law? Could they have been used for a 21st century version of charging gladiators?

Some theories abound is that this is where people took their personal chariots to travel in a forward motion if they wanted to terrorize others in the traveling public for sport.

The meaning of “STOP”

This is another marking that has stumped archeologists.

In modern-day English, the four letters strung together mean to cease what you are doing and not to keeping going.

However, this is not what the word meant to 21st century people who walked like a Mantecan.

Primitive video from devices  imprinted with the letters “RING” examined by forensic scientists that show footage of where these pavement marking were placed revealed hardy anyone slowed down much let alone stopped where they came across these letters.

The videos also show “STOP” placed on strange octagon signs with red backgrounds. Again, wherever these signs were placed and were caught on video, no one driving personal conveyance vehicles came to a complete stop or even slowed down.

Folklore handed down through the ages tells of a “California STOP.” Legend has it that this simply involved slowing down. Those executing it got extra points from barely pausing before going forward. This is not to be confused with the “T-Bone STOP” which involved one ramming their personal conveyance into another after driving over the letters spelling “STOP” or passing by the quaint octagon signs.

Steel stick trees with one branch

Perhaps the oddest thing in the Great Walled City where it was said wolves were great, there were big dreams, and bass had their own temple were the steel stick trees with one branch.

Usually they were planted in groupings of four surrounding paths of commerce where chariot race routes crossed one another.

The steel stick trees apparently held great significance as more than a thousand of them populated the great city before it was devastated by the Great 200 Year Flood that struck between long periods of drought.

The stick trees were decorated with odd circles of color. Scientists familiar with the Money Changers who ruled from Sacra-tax-mento believe the emperor of the land used them to alert people when they were allowed to leave their domiciles and to what degree they could mingle in public squares. This theory has been dismissed as none included the critical purple tier.

There is a school of thought that these colors would often go on and off to signal the speed at which drivers of personal conveyance vehicles must drive. Green was said to be 35 mph, yellow 45 mph, and instant red flashed up they had to travel at 60 mph.

Graveyards of the idols

It would be remiss to discuss the Great Walled City without a mention of the reverence the people held metal deities known as vehicles.

In other ancient cities there were massive yards where such deities were taken when they no longer traveled paths bellowing out their metallic mating call that would shake glass for miles.

Instead Mantecans would park the beasts that often weighed two tons in what was believed the gardens of domiciles in the hope they would come back to life despite gutted stomachs. They believed if dry grass were allowed to encase the metal beasts and they were periodically offered gifts such as broken washing machines, bags stuffed full of offerings, and a mattress or two they would again joyfully zip around Manteca laying rubber, spinning donuts, and spreading joy via spent Chick-fil-A bags belched from their belly as they zoomed down paths of commerce.

 This column is the opinion of editor, Dennis Wyatt, and does not necessarily represent the opinions of The Bulletin or 209 Multimedia. He can be reached at dwyatt@mantecabulletin.com