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PETA motto: Everybody needs beer
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Editor’s Note: This column first appeared on Sept. 26, 2006.

Never confuse a rabid, card-carrying member of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) with bothersome little details such as the facts.

A coalition of chemical companies tried this a few years back in a poignant print advertising campaign that showed a photo of animal rights protesters jostling signs and yelling with the main text of the ad reading, “Animal research  has given us the ability to protest animal testing for another 19.6 years.”

It was a subtle reference to the fact that numerous advancing brought about to extend our life span in the past 100 years have occurred through chemical breakthroughs made possibly with animal testing.

Given PETA’s marvelous ability to ignore the self-evident truths needed to justify some of their more extreme wacko positions, it should come of no surprise about the series of ads that popped up in college newspapers earlier this month as part of their “Got beer?” campaign.

The PETA folks want college students to drink beer instead of guzzling milk. While most people can probably count the number of college students they know who still drink milk on one hand, PETA never-the-less views the collegiate consumption of milk a hideous abuse of animal rights.

Naturally, this raised the dander of groups such as Mothers Against Drunk Driving who thought it was irresponsible for anyone to encourage even more collegiate beer drinking.

This may be true, but the real stupid premise here is the fact drinking milk is now subjecting animals to cruel and unusual punishment. This should come as no surprise to those who have been following PETA rantings as of late including their bid to get the California Department of Fish and Game to outlaw fishing because the hooks used inflict pain to the amphibious quarry.

The attack on milk also means ice cream, cottage cheese, yogurt, cheese and such are now on the banned list for PETA members. That also means anything that uses milk for cooking. By the same token eggs must also be prohibited from a PETA member’s diet.

This means PETA members must be strict vegans. That certainly lends credence to dietitians’ arguments that a pure vegan diet is dangerous since it requires exact monitoring to make sure your body is getting the right amount of the proper nutrients for physical and mental well being.

In the same vein, the PETA members who are the real McCoys refuse to use any product that is the direct result of animal research such as most make-up. This is actually a good development for those who are concerned health costs are climbing too high since the more PETA members we have in this country, the less of a burden there’ll be on the health care system. If a PETA member becomes diabetic, they can’t use insulin following their absolute standards. Insulin was made possible through animal research. The same thing goes for open heart surgery, virtually all medicine and almost all medical procedures.

It is no state secret that PETA members abhor leather and fur coats even if they come from animals that may have died naturally,

They have yet to carry out this line of logic to its ultimate end, so it is safe to say PETA members who ride or drive a vehicle, ride in a bus , train or plane are profiting from the exploitation of animals. In his case, the animals have been dead hundreds of thousands of years and are being abused through the extraction of oil from the ground,

It would also be wrong to use virtually any product you can buy in a store since diesel powered trucks delivered them.

They could easily back pedal on this one saying there is no real correlation between the exact animal that died and the oil created.

But there is one line of extended logic they can back away from and that is the cruel treatment of animals to protect a vegan PETA members’ food chain. Organic farmers do not use pesticide, fertilizers and such but they do kill pests that destroy their crops including gophers although they may use non-chemical means such as traps.

So unless someone can guarantee that no gophers, rabbit or the rodents were killed in the certain of vegetables and fruits how can a PETA member eat and have a clear conscious?

Maybe what they need to do is go grab a chilled glass of milk, pick up a couple of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies made with milk, butter and eggs and contemplate their next ad campaign.

They could have Forest Gump as their ad campaign spokesman delivering his famous line, “like my momma always said, stupid is what stupid does.”

This column is the opinion of executive editor, Dennis Wyatt, and does not necessarily represent the opinion of The Bulletin or Morris Newspaper Corp. of CA.  He can be contacted at or (209) 249-3519.