Someone sent me an e-mail a while back about a column that was supposedly penned by Charley Reese, formerly of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel where he worked for three decades – from 1971 to 2001 when he retired. During that time, he wrote three columns a week for the newspaper which were also distributed to other publications nationwide by King Features Syndicate.

The information attached to the e-mail I received stated that this was the final column written by Reese prior to his retirement. I was intrigued enough, but I also wanted to delve into the veracity of the column’s content and the attribution made about its author, so I went and did some research. I checked the Orlando Sentinel’s web site first of all, and then went to Snopes.com whose mission is to shed light on urban legends gone rampant by digging into the truth behind them. Snopes.com’s conclusion on the “claim: Charley Reese penned an editorial about 545 people being responsible for the domestic problems that plague’ the U.S.” – Correctly Attributed.

But while the authorship attribution is right on the dot, with the first version of “545 People” editorial written in the 1980s, Reese’s editorial has been updated – the latest in 2008 – and “circulated via e-mail under the title “The 545 People Responsible for America’s Woes”- or just “545 People, “often with additional material not written by Reese himself tacked onto the beginning or end of the article.”

Reese himself, though, has republished his column several times through the years, amending and updating it each time. The 545 people he refers to in his column are the President of the United States and the members of Congress and the Supreme Court who, he opines, “are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.” The column version that ran in the March 7, 1995 edition of the Orlando Sentinel was titled, “Looking for Someone to Blame? Congress is a Good Place to Start.”

This was the version – with the additional attachments not originally written by Reese – that I received via e-mail a few days ago. I never really sat down to make a list of all the taxes being paid by tax payers for a host of reasons, so I was quite surprised to read all that was mentioned in the e-mail.

I agreed with the comment made by the writer – or writers? – who collected the list, “this might be funny if it weren’t so true.” Here’s that tax refrain and try not to get dizzy when you read it:

“Tax his land, tax his bed; tax the table, at which he’s fed.

“Tax his tractor, tax his mule; teach him taxes are the rule.

“Tax his work, tax his pay; he works for peanuts anyway!

“Tax his cow, tax his goat; tax his pants, tax his coat.

“Tax his ties, tax his shirt; tax his work, tax his dirt.

“Tax his tobacco, tax his drink; tax him if he tries to think.

“Tax his cigars, tax his beers; if he cries tax his tears.

“Tax his car, tax his gas; find other ways to tax his ass.

“Tax all he has, then let him know that you won’t be done till he has no dough.

“When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more; tax him till he’s good and sore.

“Then tax his coffin, tax his grave; tax the sod in which he’s laid.

“Put these words upon his tomb, ‘taxes drove me to my doom.’

“When he’s gone, do not relax; it’s time to apply:

“the inheritance tax, Accounts Receivable Tax, Building Permit Tax, CDL License Tax, Cigarette Tax, Corporate Income Tax, Dog License Tax, Excise Taxes, Federal Income Tax, Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA), Fishing License Tax.

“Food License Tax, Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon), Gross Receipts Tax, Hunting License Tax, Inventory Tax, IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax), Liquor Tax, Luxury Taxes, Marriage License Tax, Medicare Tax, Personal Property Tax, Property Tax, Real Estate Tax, Service Charge Tax, Social Security Tax, Road Usage Tax, Recreational Vehicle Tax.

“Sales Tax, School Tax, State Income Tax, State Unemployment Tax (SUTA), Telephone Federal Excise  Tax, Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax, Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes, Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax, Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax, Telephone State and Local Tax.

“Telephone User Charge Tax, Utility Taxes, Vehicle License Registration Tax, Vehicle Sales Tax, Watercraft Registration Tax, Well Permit Tax, Workers Compensation Tax.

“Still think this is funny? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

“What in the heck happened? Can you spell ‘politicians?’”

That’s how the “enhanced” Reese column e-mailed to me ended, along with the urgent message to forward the piece to all the people they know.

This is how Reese actually ended his 1995 column: “Those 545 people and they alone are responsible. They and they alone should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses – provided they have the gumption to manage their own employees.”